So I’ve launched my Substack. But now what?
I had all these ideas about what I wanted to write about. And then I got a few subscribers. Good news! But suddenly I felt scared of writing. No, not scared, terrified. What if my new subscribers were disappointed? What if they hated what I wrote? What if they became unsubscribers?
So my Substack has remained quiet and empty while I procrastinate about what the hell to write in it.
What is it about having an audience that makes us so scared? I want to write to reach people don’t I? But the thoughts of my writing being judged has been blocking me from creating anything at all. And I’m an experienced writer. A published writer! I’ve had articles in magazines, the Guardian. I’ve had seven books published, for goodness sake. I can write. I have evidence for this. And yet…
I started The Artist’s Way this week, having tried it before and given up. I expect many people will be familiar with it. It’s a 12-week programme, but the two central pillars are morning pages and artist’s dates.
Morning pages are three pages of hand written stream of consciousness, preferably done first thing in the morning. This is something that Dorothea Brande also recommends in her book Becoming a Writer.
The weekly artist’s date is where you take yourself out, alone, to do something that fills your well of creativity. It could be visiting an art gallery, going junk shop shopping, going to the beach, just visiting somewhere new and exploring.
I like to do morning pages as soon as I wake before I really have a chance to think or do or get the kids breakfast or check my emails or anything else. I’ve only been doing them for three days and I’m already finding they’re having an impact on me.
I’m remembering my dreams more.
On Monday, I went out for a morning walk straight after writing, which I never do, and it was incredible. It was quiet. It was peaceful. I saw pheasants and rabbits and beautiful sunshine in the fields, and it felt very spiritually fulfilling. It seems like something I should be doing more of.
No artist’s date yet, but I have time for it tomorrow.
And do you know what? I seem to have written something after all. Funnily enough, now that it’s done I don’t feel so scared about people hating it, people unsubscribing, people judging.
The page isn’t blank anymore, and the fear isn’t there anymore either. Who knew?!
It’s been nearly 25 years since I started the Artists’s Way - I never finished though. I like to say that it was the week of new reading that threw me off the boat (how can you not read when your work is writing?) but the truth is (and I’m only realizing the connection as I write this) I have always had a problem finishing personal creative work. Good luck in your journey! Thank you for sharing.
Brilliant Alex! Loved your first post! I felt a similar sense of jubilation when I kept a morning pages practice. You've inspired me to think about doing it again. I often found x3 pages too much so just stuck with one; making it easier not to fail + I kept the practice longer as a result. Looking forward to your next post X